Why I Am Sad That The “Baby Years” Are Over

Did your children grow up, move on, find their own adventure?

It happens to nearly everyone, eventually. Almost universally our children will grow up and mature and gain independence and stop clinging to our legs. They will eventually stop talking with us when we are on the toilet and walking in for mundane reasons when we are in the shower. One day they will no longer reach a chubby little hand upwards toward ours while walking along the street and saddest of all, they will eventually stop crawling into our beds to plant their poky little feet into the lower parts of our backs.

How do I know all this? Because it is happening to me.

It’s pretty sad.

It is also pretty good which I guess is why I longed for it to happen for so many years.

Back when I had my first child, more than a decade ago, I really truly felt like my life would never be my own again. From the first moment I held my little bundle of baby girl, I knew that my heart, hands and life would be eternally devoted to her.

Not long after, this commitment was put rather harshly to the test when life with a newborn became a startling, exhausting reality. Flashbacks from my long labour mingled with non stop nappy changes and persistent, colicky crying. All of it covered in milk and actioned by my new, weary, child-changed body. This was my new, bleary all encompassing life and it required every ounce of my willpower and energy to adapt to it, but adapt I did.

So yes, bath times were no longer my own and dinner was ruined by interruptions and protests for 13 years straight but I have loved every single minute of it.

Except when I haven’t love it because I have been tired or exhausted or I have just needed my life back.

Well I have got it now, my life that is. Just for a little bit anyway, thanks to school and wonderful teachers and the burgeoning independence of my children. An hour here and a half day there. I can do whatever I please in whatever order and at whatever volume. I can even eat what I want when I want it, without sharing it 5 ways. My time is my own and so are my strawberries.

Which is why I  am a little bit sad.

My girlfriend visited me for coffee the other day. We had a little tea party out in my garden, beside my new pool. Because all the kids are off at school we didn’t have to worry about someone accidentally falling into the water. Or getting too cold, or too tired, or hungry, or wanting to go to the toilet 15 times.

Both of us have little ones who are off in prep this year and finally, after a long time, we could meet without ice-creams and baby cinos and waving at Puffing Billy.

It was wonderful. We had a good, lengthy catch up on work, family, weddings and children without one single interruption, not even from an iconic steam train.

But after she left I did some maths.

We have known each other basically our whole lives. We met as babies and have stuck with each other ever since. So that is 38 years of friendship, only 12 of which we have spent with little children in tow. Twelve years is not a lot in the grand scheme of things, considering I once thought it would never end.

I miss it.

I know that there are a lot of great years to come too, as the children get older.  But as time goes on, our kidlets are, and will be, less and less evident in our meet-ups.

Although I am sure we will ever stop talking about them.

It wasn’t forever though was it? Those days stuck at home with little children and spaghetti stains and piles of washing and loneliness. It was just for a little bit.

A little, precious, treasured bit.

Children are wonderful as they get older. What a pleasure and a blessing it is to see them grow and mature, express new ideas, play basketball and hang around at “the shops” with their friends (I am yet to understand the appeal of this one). But that other bit was wonderful too.

I for one, am really sad that those rich, glorious, exhausting, messy, awful, wonderful, mad days are over.

In the mean time I will just enjoy cuddling my new baby nephew and try not to cry too much when I look through photos of my own babies. Ill wait for the next adventure to open up and Ill try and remember to embrace it and enjoy it and be grateful for what has gone before.

And on these cold Winter nights where my 5 year old staggers sleep drunk and droopy down the hallway to find me because his feet are too cold, Ill let him jump in under the covers and warm his ice cold toes against me and Ill try not to cry out in annoyance. Because one day, it will be the last time it happens.

I’ll be thankful too for the friendships that endure through all the changes, and for those people who listen to me talk about it all.

You’ll have to excuse me though if I get a little teary when I see you cradling your little baby, or walking with a chubby toddler hand grasped in yours.

Anyone need a baby sitter?

Dani xx

New Years Resolution. The Year of Saying Yes.

A few years ago, in the last moments of a sticky Summer evening, I decided that I needed to try something new with my life.

You see I had been spending quite a bit of my time moaning and groaning and grousing about some personal problems I was having.

There had been a lot of change going on in my life, some of it rather major and distressing including a big house move, loss of a parent and a change of community.

But one morning it occurred to me that it was time to do something new. Most years, in those lost timewarp days between Christmas and New Year, I would spend some time planning for the year ahead. That year, instead of making plans, I decided I would set myself a goal relating to how I wanted the next year to be, rather than what I wanted to do. In essence I set myself a theme.

It was going to be my year of saying yes.

What this meant was that I was going to change a little bit of what was going on in my life.

Instead of saying “I can’t,” “It won’t work,” “I know I should, but I really don’t want to,” “I guess you are probably right” “if that’s what you think I should do.” Etc

I was going to start saying

“Yes, if I want to do it I will.” And alongside this

“No, if I don’t want to do it I won’t.”

Somehow, from somewhere I just had this epiphany that this was the best way forward for me.

It became known (in my head alone) as the year of saying yes.

It was awesome.

I had spent a really long time trying to make other people happy. A lot of the time I would do things because I thought that is what the other person wanted me to do. Most of the time they probably really did not care. All of the time it was not really up to them to decide what was right for me anyway.

So I set off on my brand new adventure at a roaring pace.

I already knew that doing new things had a magical way of opening up new opportunities. I also already knew that engaging in pleasant activities is good for the soul and the heart and the head.

I decided to keep track of what I was doing as part of a gratitude journal because I also knew that gratefulness increases happiness and this time around I was determined to say yes to happiness whenever it decided to pay me a visit.

Welcome home happy-Ness. Pull up a chair, pop your feet up and just lounge around until you need to head off again.

And so I did some elaborate-ish things (in my mind anyway). I met new people and I tried new things and I went to places that I once would have left for other people. I reached out and I tried my hand and I danced along and I painted my lips too red and wore bright clothes that made me smile in my toes.

Some people were not very happy for me, they didn’t exactly scowl or growl but they didn’t exactly cheer me on either. But I decided to let them go this time because I was cheering and it sounded rad. Plus I was learning to say “no. Not “no” to what other people wanted, but “no” to putting what other people wanted first.

My year of saying yes then led to the year of “just keep going.”

You know how women these days can have it all? Meaning of course, not that we can have everything, rather that we can have a few very specific things. A job, a family and a pair of skinny jeans and a up-do that makes you look 1.4 years younger.

Well after my year of saying yes, I stumbled swiftly into my year of saying “this is all a little bit too much. And so although one morning  I had woken up to the awesome epiphany of the year of saying yes, 12 months later my new theme was this, “the year of just keep going.”

Not very inspiring hey?

But let me whisper a little phrase in your ear that some of you will understand.

That just happened to be year when my youngest child was in kindergarten.

Imma gonna let that sink in.

Kindergarten.

Remember the kinder year?

All that free time just to yourself, except when you are picking up and dropping off and picking up again. Oh yeah and wiping noses and putting cream on rashes and pouring panadol because no one is sick more than a four year old child in kindergarten. It is good for them, I know. They develop immunity and you develop an eye twitch that goes off everytime someone new in your family starts coughing. Again.

So I was entering my final year as a kinder Mum, at the same time as I was working a two day a week, fairly intense job and still Mumming to my crew. Plus the year of yes had created me some excellent opportunities in my creative life so that I was able to pour every spare waking moment into my website.

So here are some things that my year of yes taught me

  • saying yes opens up a lot of new opportunities, so make sure you are saying it to the right things.
  • Throw a lot of mud as only some of it will stick.
  • Saying no can be hard work.
  • Happiness does not determine future happiness.
  • Being unhappy is human and fine and it will keep you honest.
  •  Persistence is important.
  • Sadness and happiness are not mutually exclusive.

My year of saying yes was actually one of the saddest years of my life.

I lost a very special, beautiful, important person in my life and I missed her every day and I still think about her most days. This also reminded of the other saddest year of my life when I lost my own Dad and how losing two parents makes you feel a little lonelier because you are a little more lonely when you don’t have your parents by your side.

But being sad is not separate to being happy in a weird way that you have to live to understand.

Somehow there is room in me for both.

So the year of saying yes, which was also the year of second sadness, led to the year of just keep going, which is also the year of making room for both.

In case you are wondering, the year of “having it all” is yet to occur because frankly, I think it is a load of doo doo.

What do you think?

Do you pick a theme for your new year or do you just chose a word?

Have you had a year of just keep on going? And do you think that sadness and happiness are separate or have you learned to make room for big bouts of both of them, like I had to do?

Dani xx

Gardens. Gardening. Thinking of Versailles.

I am back in the kitchen this week cooking one of the never ending variations of one of my favourite recipes.

Shredded beef recipe.

I have a few new ingredients to play with thanks to Melbourne company El Cielo Mexican foods. They sent me a gorgeous packet of dried Ancho Chile and I am loving using the last of it in this dish. It adds a distinctive depth of flavour that I love.

I am also using a collection of fresh herbs from my new garden.

While my kids are besotted with their new Labrador puppy, I feel like a have a kind of pet of my own that is my collection of herbs and flowers in their pots.

I do not have a green thumb at all but I do enjoy gardening.

I watched a snippet of this film “Portrait of a garden” and I found some illuminating advice about being a gardener. Something along the lines of (and I paraphrase here) if you want to be a gardener you have to be able to tolerate uncertainty and be willing to build for the future, with all the patience that requires.

The truly great gardens throughout history have done just that don’t you think?

I wonder what it is that actually constitutes a great garden?

My Dad was a keen gardener and spent hours and hours turning green barren paddocks into beautiful fragrant garden beds that you could wander through or gaze upon.

Just last weekend I also visited my sister’s house in the Country and she has done a wonderful job of turning her own extensive but plain back yard into a vibrant and luscious garden, fit for meandering and drinking tea.

There was a time where my husband and I were thinking of moving to Versailles as there was a job opportunity available there that we liked the sound of. Imagine that, living near the gardens of Versailles. Of course they truly are great gardens of historical significance but I don’t think we need judge other gardens by their magnificence.Versailles

Why do you think? Have you ever fallen in love with a garden or perhaps fallen in love thanks to a garden?

Some of my favourite gardens include the ones my sister and Dad created, as well as the beautiful “Rose Cottage” gardens in the Yarra Valley that were planted and lovingly cared for by my Aunty and Uncle. When I was young this garden was a truly magical place to me and powerful childhood impressions never really fade do they?

Here in Melbourne I also have a soft spot for the Royal Botanic Gardens.royal botanic gardens melbourneAnd the average of edible farm at the “has to be seen to be believed ” produce garden at Cardi Farm from the team at O.My in Beaconsfield.

Cardi Farm with Blayne BertoncelloBlayne Bertoncello in garden O.My RestaurantCardi Farm produce garden O.My restaurant

On my wish list for a visit are the gardens of

  • Broughton Hall
  • Cloudhill Gardens Olinda
  • Cruden Farm by Dame Elisabeth Murdoch
  • Coombe House (Dame Nellie Melba)

As to falling in love in a garden? I cannot lay claim to this one.

At the moment though I am happy with my pots.

Wish me luck in keeping them happy and alive when the hot weather finally arrives.

Dani.


Looking for decor for your own garden?

I was excited to fine be approved for a brand new affiliate program with the beautiful Hunting for George this week.  They have a gorgeous range of homewares including a gorgeous collection to pots, planters and seeds. Check them out and support Eat My Street with your purchase. 

Living little. 6 benefits of a smaller house.

Living little. Would you downsize? 6 benefits of a smaller house.

benefits of a smaller house

At an age where everyone I know is looking to buy their “next house” and make it into their dream home, my husband and I decided to downsize.

Yes, like most people I have dabbled in the fantasy of simple living, slow life and tiny homes but most of my dreams involved a beach or some other idyllic location. Because that would make sense right, to pack up you comfortable home & all your belongings in pursuit of a life lived large in your dream location?

But that’s not what we were doing. Instead of moving somewhere that was our dream location (say the countryside with rolling hills & a creek, or a beach location) we were moving “closer to work” and not even my work now that you mention it.

This isn’t the full story though because there were also a number of other reasons for the move, including a desire to be closer to friends and to be living in a part of Melbourne that we loved.

So we packed up our very spacious house and property on a quiet street, and moved into our mid century designed minimalist home that we accidentally bought at auction.

I was nervous, so nervous.

Our first few weeks were spent negotiating the smaller bedrooms and tiny bathrooms and knocking our elbows on bedroom doors. There was also quite a bit of convincing myself: it’s ok, we will be alright, we did the right thing.

When the children would complain about lack of space or our missing back yard full of grass, I would remain optimistic but deep down my heart would drop. What had we done and how long would we have to put up with it?

But the truth of the matter is this. Yes our house is smaller, but it is not small. Yes our yard is greatly reduced, but we still have a great yard.

Plus there are benefits to living in a smaller house. Benefits that really are rich reward at this stage of my life.

  1. It doesn’t take me very long to clean the house.
  2. I was forced to give away a lot of things that were not really needed.
  3. It does not take long to put something away or find something because everything simply has to have its place.
  4. The house heats up really quickly and beautifully and cools quite well too.
  5. Smaller houses are reportedly great for building relationships and connections within families. Of particular note is the inability of teenagers to kind of just disappear.
  6. A smaller house meant a better location (for us) and a shorter commute and therefore more time spent doing what we love.

There are some downsizes too of course, the most prominent of which is lack of party space. We have always traditionally purchased a house with a great party room in my family. Our current new house has a lot less space for that. So sleepovers, and hangouts and parties and get togethers are all slightly  less comfortable and if I’m honest, less likely to happen.

It is also sometimes quite tiring to be forced to tidy everything away immediately. There was a time where the washing could wait or school bags could be dumped without actually blocking the path of each new person that tried to enter the house. Those days are over because it really does just take up too much space.

So what do you think?

Would you downsize and how small would you go?

A yard and garden of some sort is really important to me so I think that would be one of the things that would always stop me from going much smaller. In fact I do nurse this lovely little fantasy of a one bedroom shack on the edge of a national park somewhere, nearly all “yard” and very little indoor space.

A couch, kettle and a book nook would be just about enough.

Dani

benefits of a smaller house


Further reading

A friend recently lent me this excellent book on minimalism and decluttering.

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying by Marie Kondo

I am loving it although I kind of wish I had read it before I got rid of a lot of my things. The process is definitely ongoing though and Kondo makes it seem inspirational.

Or you might like a little visual motivation?

Tiny Houses at Dymocks Books. 


Still reading?

You might like to read about gardening, grief or my growing family. 

 

It’s a bit personal

My Dad died on my birthday 8 years ago. It was heartbreaking and wretched and for a long time I felt like the earth had given way beneath me and nothing was as it was supposed to be any more.

I didn’t mind that he died on my birthday. Some people said maybe he waited for such an occasion and others insisted it was just a coincidence but either way it didn’t really matter to me because I was just glad that the suffering was over for him. The fact that he died on my birthday will forever be special for me because if you are going to rip the centre out of someones life then it doesn’t really matter when you do it does it?

A number of my friends were very helpful to me through the difficult time proceeding his death. I still couldn’t begin to articulate who and how but suffice to say, we definitely rely on our connection with each other to get through this life. Some people gave me words and some gave me lasagna, other people gave me time and all of it helped in its own way.

Afterward I also spent a lot of time writing, first a book and then some poetry and I guess in some ways this blog came out of that time too.

I don’t miss my Dad as much today as I did 8 years ago and that is a good thing because my sadness was too much to carry for too long. But still, I occasionally have a moment where I think of him and it hurts all over again. This week I was listening to a podcast on “The Hidden Life of Trees” by Peter Wohlleben and I desperately felt the need to talk to my Dad about the wonderful idea that trees can talk to each other and they talk to us too.

Oh, how he would have been thrilled by that idea and I think he would have innately known it to be true, just as I did when I first heard of it.

So I guess this means that tomorrow is my birthday. At 39 I am starting to become slightly less excited about the whole birthday caper than I once was. Add to this fact that it has been an unusual week at my house with sick children and interstate trips and lots of pressure. They say it takes a village to raise a child and this week I am very grateful for my village. My niece and nephew, my sisters, my Mum & stepfather and my kids all drawing together to pull of a miracle.

 

This time last year I was in Port Fairy on a blogging trip with thanks to Great Ocean Rd tourism. Well this year my blog has led to the wonderful opportunity to be involved with a great restaurant in Sydney. Macelleria is a great restaurant with locations in Bondi and Newtown. “The Butcher who cooks for you.”

Macelleria combines the beautiful concept of restaurant quality Cape Grim beef cooked fresh for you at your table and accompanied by a healthy and socially conscious selection of side dishes. My kind of food. Take a look at their website and their social media pages because I am sure that you are going to love what they are doing as much as I do.

So yes, life is a many splendored thing with highlights and low lights and everything in between.

Today I played two square with my 5 year old and drank tea with my 12 year old and was just grateful for these moments.

Tomorrow I’ll be a little bit older and looking forward to what might come next.

Dani xx

Day 13. If you are happy and you know it clap your hands.

If you are happy and you know it clap your hands.

What a funny little song. I am sure most of us used to sing this at some point in our lives. Children, or course, are always happy and are therefore more than willing to go along with such instructions.

clap. clap.

Unless they are crying and sad at which point they still might be willing to go along with it.

Adults on the other hand are much more analytical and prone to intense thought and comparison. Our lives are also dramatically more complicated thus leaving the consideration of whether or not we are happy, a far more complicated question.

What really makes me happy and what makes you happy? And what kind of happiness is it that we are after anyway?

The point of the gratitude challenge is to really bypass all of that and to just think mindfully and purposefully about three things in the day that we are thankful for. Full stop. No further analysis required.

So in the spirit of gratitude then, here are my three.

1. My health.

As a very nasty flu rages its way around my workplace, with people dropping like overheated, shivery flies I am thankful that currently I am feeling rather well. Winter in Melbourne never does great things for my health and in the many years that I have spent at home with little children, they have give me nearly every single one of their colds and coughs. But today, thankfully, is not that day.

2. Encouragement from a friend.

I was texting a friend yesterday and made mention of the fact that I was having a rather “complicated” day. She immediately offered to say a prayer for me which I found rather dazzling. The older I get, the more I am touched by the kindness and love shown me by other people. Something to do with having 99% of my brain dedicated to looking after other people and the other 1% dedicated to complaining. Kindness from a friend is such a breath of fresh air.

3. Doing Mum stuff with my boys.

I am still adjusting to my new work hours and as a result I have missed two important games of basket ball. When I say important, I mean it in a sentimental fashion because you will never witness a more hilarious and gorgeous sight than this little band of 5 year olds running wildly around the basketball court.

Well yesterday, I swung in at the last quarter and managed to catch some of the game. Then to top it all off I spent the evening dancing with my boys at the school disco. Very funny, very cute and a good dose of heart warming.

So, how has your week been?

To help you along I have created a free printable. We have been going for nearly two weeks now so there are bound tone days where you can’t think of anything new. So to help you out I have a list of prompts. Cool.

Gratitude prompts

If you like that, you might be keen on my free gratitude journal pdf.

Dani xx

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Join the 31 days of gratitude challenge now to be reminded of all that is good in your life. You will not regret it.


Dani B is a food and lifestyle blogger from Melbourne. She has three kids, a naughty puppy, too many jobs and hankering to live in an Agatha Christie novel. She writes about good food for the good life in Melbourne and beyond.

 

 

 

 


Todays post is bought to you by the busy Mum’s happiness creator “Marley Spoon.” Because we could all do with a little help in the kitchen now and then. Am I right?

Day 8 of 31. Then she partied.

Day 8. And then she partied. 

Ever been to disco bingo? It is absolutely hilarious.

Last night I was very kindly encouraged to attend the social event of the year at my children’s primary school.

Normally my very exciting Saturday night plans include a little bit of chocolate and some ABC TV (someone stop me) but this week I dolled myself up disco style and headed out for the night.

There was a lot of glitter, like potentially the EPA should have been notified, but I totally loved the fact that everyone dressed up and it was a really fun night.

I was planning to borrow a vintage dress from a girlfriend but when I looked in my wardrobe, I discovered that basically I own quite a lot of 70’s style clothing myself. Because I wish I could wear it every day.

I wore my very favourite one piece jumpsuit and I loved it.

So today I am grateful for

1. Confidence to wear what I want. Because let’s be honest, a lot of people struggle with this. I am very grateful that quite early on in my student life, I learned the lesson of body positivity and self acceptance. This doesn’t mean that I constantly feel fabbo, rather it means that I know that there are a lot of things way more important in life than the way I look.

I long for my daughter to learn this lesson too, but I fear that it is a complicated one, made even more difficult by this insta-ready, airbrushed world we live in.

2. The chance to do something fun. Having fun and laughing provides a lovely little mood bump. The busier I get, the more determined I am to keep popping little “fun” events into my calendar. It can take a little bit of concentration though, having fun. Don’t you think? Lot’s of other things will be happy to get in to the way and compete for attention. Don’t let them take over though, because you deserve a little fun too my friend.

3. I am reading this excellent little book, The Energy Guide, by Dr Libby Weaver. She talks about cortisol and adrenal fatigue and the importance of managing your energy levels. It has been very practical and helpful and it gave me permission to take a little nap. I am definitely paraphrasing, Dr Libby does not directly say to take a nap, but she does talk about the importance of rest and sleep and taking responsibility for your own energy levels. Given that I have just taken on an extra day of work and I am still adjusting, I am definitely in need of some extra R & R. Enter the nap. Bliss.

So that is it from me, we made it to week 2. 

A big thank you to those of you who are reading and for the messages and emails. Keep them coming!

Please, pretty please, join my mailing list.  

I have some cool things going out via email and I think I finally have the sign up issues sorted.

Yay!

I hope you did something nice for yourself this weekend, and maybe something fun.

Until tomorrow.

Dani xx


You can read day 1-7 here. 

Day 7 of 31. The year of saying yes.

The year of saying yes.

24 months ago today I decided that I needed to try something new.

You see I had been spending quite a bit of my time moaning and groaning and grousing about some personal problems I was having.

There had been a lot of change going on in my life, some of it rather major and distressing including a big house move, loss of a parent and a change of community.

I had been through one of those very difficult life stages where everything is thrown upside down. Suffice to say, I was writing poetry people. Poetry!

But one morning it occurred to me that it was time to do something new.

So I decided that I was going to have a year of saying yes.

What this meant was that I was going to change a little bit of what was going on in my life.

Instead of saying “I can’t,” “it won’t work,” “I know I should, but I really don’t want to,” “I guess you are probably right” “I probably shouldn’t.”

I was going to start saying

“yes, if I want to do it, I will.” And alongside this

“no, if I don’t want to do it, I won’t.”

Somehow, from somewhere I just had this epiphany that this was the best way forward for me.

It became known (in my head alone) as the year of saying yes.

It was awesome.

I had spent a really long time trying to make other people happy. A lot of the time I would do things because I thought that is what the other person wanted me to do. Most of the time they probably really did not care. All of the time it was not really up to them to decide what was right for me anyway.

So I set off on my brand new adventure at a roaring pace.

I already new that doing new things had a magical way of opening up new opportunities. I also already knew that engaging in pleasant activities is good for the soul and the heart and the head.

I decided to keep track of what I was doing as part of my first gratitiude journal because I also knew that gratefulness increased happiness and this time around I was determined to say yes to happiness whenever it decided to pay me a visit.

Welcome home happy-Ness. Pull up a chair, pop your feet up and just lounge around person, until you need to head off again.

And so I did some elaborate-ish things (in my mind anyway). I met new people and I tried new things and I went to places that I once would have left for other people. I reached out and I tried my hand and I danced along and I painted my lips too red and wore bright clothes that made me smile in my toes.

Some people were not very happy for me, they didnt exactly scowl or growl but they didn’t exactly cheer me on either. But I decided to let them go this time because I was cheering and it sounded rad. Plus I was learning to say “no. Not to what other people wanted, but “no” to putting what other people wanted first.

So today I am grateful for my year of saying yes, and for the permanent change it created in my life. 

 

I am also grateful for the people I met along the way and the people who cheered me on.

I met some really lovely people who I now count as friends.

Some of my family and friends who were very confused about what I was doing, well they were still kind and encouraging and I will never forget the ones who cheered on from the sidelines.

Eventually things did have to settle down a little bit because a lot of yes creates a lot of opportunity and it can be hard to keep up with your own life in that situation. But the change in me was permanent.

I wonder what your “year of saying yes” would look like?

What about your week of saying “yes.”

Why don’t you try it? Or if you are not brave enough to try it then maybe sit back sometime in your favourite comfy chair and just imagine it. Because imagination is the beginning of new adventures.

See you out there on the road.

Dani xx


Dani B is a food and lifestyle blogger from Melbourne. She writes about good food for a good life. Come join her 31 days of gratitude challenge. 

Or send an email to danib@eatmystreet.net to find out more.


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Day 6 of 31. I’ve got this feeling, inside my soul.

Yesterday I had a very exciting thing happen.

We all naturally spend a lot of time doing tasks that are important but not very exciting. Occasionally we might get an opportunity to do something that we are passionate about, talented at and skilled at. Pundits call this the “sweet spot,” “purpose,” “win” or simply “dang it, you go girl.”

Yesterday I was offered an opportunity that will allow me to work in this space for a bit and I am so very thrilled and grateful.

Petrified too of course, because new opportunities are challenging and when we get something we really want in life, the stakes are so high.

Previously I have shied away from opportunities when I have been scared of failure. But thanks to maturity and my ever-increasing age, I have learned to just face my fears and jump right in.

So today I am grateful for.

  1. Awesome opportunities for working in my “sweet spot.”
  2. The maturity and experience to face my fears and “just do it.”
  3. Music. Because nothing quite works to life the mood and bring on the tears and help express our un-explainable feelings like a well written song. Plus dancing around the kitchen with my embarrassed kids is pretty awesome too.

Did you catch the very excellent Facebook live post on Create the Happy by Annette from “I give you the verbs” yesterday? It was funny, inspiring and sincere and recommend you check it out.

So what are you grateful for today?

Have you ever managed to find opportunities in your own sweet spot?

I’d love to hear about it.

Until tomorrow.

Dani.

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Create the Happy. 31 Days of Gratitude Challenge.

Day 1. Some days are easy.

Day 2. Some days are harder than others.

Day 3. Getting on with it.

Day 4. Laughter is the best medicine. 

Day 5. Oprah and George Costanza give life advice.


Dani B is a food and lifestyle blogger from Melbourne. She has three kids, a naughty puppy, too many jobs and hankering to live in an Agatha Christie novel. She writes about good food for the good life in Melbourne and beyond.

 

 

 

 

 

Day 5 of 31. Oprah & George Constanza give life advice.

I have written quite a lot in the past about what an awkward ninja I can be.

Basically stick me in any kind of large group setting and I get uncomfortable enough to wish I was wallpaper.

I can write about this part of my life  because I  have made peace with it, and indeed I am very accepting these days of the fact that I can be a little bit of a social ding bat.

Memorable flash back that illustrates my point.

  • Attending an important work party and getting so flustered that I dropped a plate of dip and corn chips  so everyone’s toes & ankles were splattered red for the remainder of the party. I like to think of that one as a surprise dress up event where I was responsible for everyone else’s fancy outfit.

Which leads me to today’s gratitude post.

  1. I am grateful that as I get older, I am more accepting of who I am as a person. Because really, honestly, it is just so much better to understand and accept myself than to be endlessly trying to be like someone else. So occasionally, when I still feel the pressure, I just make like George Constanza and vamoose.

 

Somewhere along the line I learned “best to be true to yourself, because if you don’t live your own life, no one else will.” I can’t remember who told me but it rang true and I haven’t forgotten it.

It was probably Oprah. It was always Oprah right?

2. The sunshine.

Yes it has been very cold in Melbourne lately and yes I talk a lot about the weather but I honestly just feel better with a little sun on my skin. So today we had a little bit of blue sky and it was glorious and uplifting and I loved it.

3. Afternoon tea with my babies.

Two days a week I get to have a quiet afternoon tea with my kids after school.

Granted this is not always as blissful as you might imagine, but that doesn’t really matter because I still love it.

I spent years at home with my children and now that I am back at work I really long for these domestic moments hanging out with my kids.

Sometimes I cook something super impressive and then they think I am the most awesome Mum of the year (for 24 seconds). Other times we hit the park or just hang out at home and I loves it.

So that is day 5 of 31.

If you are joining in at home then shoot me an email so that I can feature you in my weekly wrap up.

Thanks to those of you who have already “played along.”

Why not try this at home?

I was reading Dr Andrew Fuller’s latest book earlier in the week and it points out the benefits of teaching gratitude to your children. So why not ask for three things next time you are all around the dinner table together.

To say thank you for sticking with me, I have created this awesome list of prompts. Here is page 1 for your viewing pleasure.

 

Dani.


Create the Happy. 31 Days of Gratitude Challenge.

Day 1. Some days are easy.

Day 2. Some days are harder than others.

Day 3. Getting on with it.

Day 4. Laughter is the best medicine. 


Dani B is a food and lifestyle blogger from Melbourne. She has three kids, a naughty puppy, too many jobs and hankering to live in an Agatha Christie novel. She writes about good food for the good life in Melbourne and beyond.

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Day 4 of 31. Laughter is the best medicine. 

Day 4 of 31. Laughter is the best medicine.

Taking time every day to practise gratitude has a number of different benefits including helping with conflict resolution, better health and improved sleep. One of the other benefits of gratitude is that it helps us to extract meaning from difficult situations.

Four days in to my challenge I am discovering that when thinking about what I am grateful for, I am also very tempted to think about what went wrong in my day. The urge to see the glass as half empty can be quite strong when I have a difficult day, but it is something I am determined not to do.

Instead I am determined to sort through the tough stuff in order to find the little gems that are hidden within.

This is not as simple as you think, but it can be done if I just think a little deeper.

So today, despite having a disastrous beginning, clumsy middle and a frustrating end, I am still going to post three things I am grateful for.

  1. Laughter. One of my friends from work sent me this “inspirational quote” this evening and it really made me giggle. Because if you can’t laugh at yourself, then you probably will be able to laugh at Kanye. Give it a try. It’s really not that hard.

Laughter really does make me feel better, definitely, 100% of the time. Which is why I spend a disproportionate amount of time watching Brooklyn nine-nine, and why I bought myself a “Terry Loves Yoghurt T.Shirt.” Maybe I will buy a Kanye t.shirt next.

What is your favourite TV show for having a laff? I’m always looking for something new. I would highly recommend “Utopia” on ABC and “Have you been paying attention” for laugh out loud moments.

2. Good teachers. 

My little man celebrated 100 days of prep today and gee I really appreciate his smart, thoughtful and lovely teacher.

A really good teacher knows how to get stuff done while still seeing the unique ability and capability within their students.

And we all remember those teachers that made a difference in our lives, long after we move on from their classroom.

Namaste Miss Hodge, for working so hard and explaining so clearly and making sure that I always did my best.

3. Purpose.

Having a sense of purpose is so powerful and can help propel us forward toward our goals, even when we feel a bewildered and disappointed. A few weeks ago when I was having a very tough time, a very wise woman gave  me this verse.

Learn to do right; seek justice.
Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
plead the case of the widow.

What a very awesome task.

But somehow, when I have been feeling frustrated and weary in my work, this has helped keep me on track.

So having a sense of purpose of in my life has been powerful and energizing and I am thankful for this.

What are you grateful for today? And do you have a sense of purpose in your work, home or personal life?

I hope so.

Until tomorrow.

Dani


Create the Happy. 31 Days of Gratitude Challenge.

Day 1. Some days are easy.

Day 2. Some days are harder than others.

Day 3. Getting on with it.


Dani B is a food and lifestyle blogger from Melbourne. She has three kids, a naughty puppy, too many jobs and hankering to live in an Agatha Christie novel. She writes about good food for the good life in Melbourne and beyond.